Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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