She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
