Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off