the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
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His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...