I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
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I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY