i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
