i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize