3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
