I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize