I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
