Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
