Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Send help, water and tortillas.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
