had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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