So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
