I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Randomize
