Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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