I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Operation Purity has been aborted
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
