wakey wakey hands off snakey
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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