It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
