The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
