Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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