Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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