Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
