I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
