Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
