I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
