How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize