is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
