addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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