Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
