so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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