I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
