BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
