that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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