I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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