I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
