I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
