We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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