Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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