Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
