All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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