I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
