I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize