Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
