you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
