dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
