everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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