I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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