you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
