So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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