Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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