I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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