Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
