dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
