it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry about my life...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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