Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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