Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize